Post by ShadesofGrey on Jan 11, 2009 19:44:28 GMT -5
(Heres part two for you guys, three will be next to come.)
"Samuel...." Red sighed tilting his head. He had a strange feeling in his chest and gut. The Spaniard didn't really understand it's meaning or being there for that matter. "Look....I know you miss him, I do. But you can't let that screw you over, he'll be back. It's not like he's gonna stay gone for eternity.....Okay? I promise...." His voice was low but soft and comforting. He was surprised by himself that he could sound such a way really. It wasn't so natural for him. Reaching down cautiously he drew back just a bit before placing the back of a few fingers on Samuel's cheek, rubbing at it, wiping away at the tears. "Shhh....it's gonna be okay..." The dark but soft look that was coming from his mahogany eyes was true and not a false look that he sometimes wore. Scooping his Russian friend up in his other free arm he withdrew his hand and began to stroke the back of the other's head.
Samuel wrapped his arms around Red's strong neck, hugging him tightly and clinging to him as though life itself depended on it. He held in the tears, not wanting to cry, but was glad that Red was there in case he did need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to cling onto in the night for comfort. "I know..."He murmured, attempting to swallow the lump in his throat. Despite his sadness, Red made him feel secure, and safer, as though he was a warm blanket to wrap up in and hide in a bed full of soft feather pillows on a cold winter day. He nuzzled into the nape of Red's neck, taking in his scent, feeling the warmth of his skin on his cold tear stained face, and biting his lip before placing his wet lips onto Red's soft skin. He still clung to him, hiding his face, calming himself down slowly.
Red just sat there holding onto his depressed little Russian friend. He didn't frown, he didn't smile well because there was nothing to smile about in the least bit. He knew how to comfort someone though, from his previous girl friend, she was a crying little thing which explained why she was a previous rather than now existing. He nuzzled back on the top of Samuel's head, trying to comfort and make him feel better. Noting that his face was cold and still a bit damp from his tears. Then something wet yet warm was on his skin and the Spaniard just knew what it was causing his cheeks to heat up, becoming hot and a slight shade of pinkish red. He bit his lip that feeling inside grew a bit but he pushed it back, fighting it, not knowing what it meant still other than he was probably wanting. "It's gonna be okay man......Shhhh...." He whispered several times into Samuel's ear in that low hushed tone. He liked this for some reason, the feeling that he was the more dominant to have someone weaker in his arms. Closing his eyes he began to lean his head down to plant a kiss on Samuel's cheek, then it hit him and his eyes shot open and heart rate quicked for a moment, pulling his head back and giving a small on onto the top of his head. 'What the hell is wrong with you?!' He asked himself with a mental snarl.
The Russian was reduced to merely sniffles now, his tears all gone, for no more to follow. He nuzzled more into his neck, feeling how warm and soft his skin was. He wasn't sure why but he knew what was going on. He felt so pathetic, so desperate, did he really need affection that badly. NO, he wouldn't drive Red into that, he wouldn't do it, he was with Johnathan, despite the fact that he was hundreds of miles away in another country and there was a vast ocean between them. None of those things matter, but why, why was he so drawn to Red now. He didn't want to do this, to feel desperate, and pathetic, but Red was so warm, and strong yet gentle, similar to his brother. He remembered when he was little, he would always go to his brother first if he was upset and he was just hold him and let him cry. His father always said crying was for woman, but Kevin never reminded him of that and just comforted him. That's what is was, it was like brother love, not him and Johnathan love. Even as he told himself, he felt his arms, pushing away from Red, just enough to look up at him, the thoughts rushing in his head as he scanned him over, catching every detail in his handsome face.
And an accidental seductive grin blossomed onto Red's face as he looked down at Samuel a sparkle behind his dark eyes. He was hoping this was a comforting look but he was to no avail of being right. "You're gonna be okay...." Came another promise from those full kissable lips of his. "Alright, Samuel. Johnathan will be back for you and you'll be there waiting that day that he does return in the airport." Goddamn he should write a novel or soap opera sitcom show story line. His grin turned into a softened mile followed by the softening of all his facial features. Another stroke of the hair with his growing hand that was already a bit larger than Samuel's then again Red was bigger than him by now no doubt, though he wasn't completely done growing. He gave a slight chuckle. "Sounded a bit sappy, huh?" He asked everyone knowing that he had never been a man for that kind of thing. He hated drama and meaningless stories that went along with it.
Samuel nodded silently, turning away from him before he became completely hypnotized by his dark eyes, strong handsome face, and beautiful soft lips. The thoughts forced him to look again, which was a mistake, fore he became instantly entranced by his facial features once more, finding it more impossible to turn away than before. He stared up at him, not really hearing his words, his curiosity taking over, controlling him to act differently, merely reacting to his smile more than his words. He hesitated but it was too late, he leaned up, meeting his soft lips with the warmth of his own, that feeling of affection twinged through his body all at once, causing the hairs on his arm to raise and embrace the chill of the night air that seeped in through the window. He kissed him fully, being cautious about anything more than just a kiss, wondering, hoping...wishing he would kiss back all the same.
He was curious at first as to what Samuel was doing, why he was looking around like that, cocking his own head to the side and then back only to be kissed. The Spaniard drank in the warmth of those soft Russian lips but was stunned and shocked all at once by his closest friends action. He wanted to ask why, he wanted to pull back which he gave a very small attempt to failing epically doing so. He found himself desiring more than just a kiss, he had been single for about two months now and was feeling rather lonely. Red didn't think as he leaned into the kiss, opening up, taking Samuel's tongue captive, dominating it, teasing with no questions asked by his own mind. Allowing it in, caressing, tempting, and recapturing his friend's warm tongue, eyes being fully closed now, one peeking half-lidded every so often.
Samuel felt almost as though he would just die until Red finally kissed back giving him the reassurance that he didn't just make an awkward feeling for them both. He kissed back fully, feeling his tongue come past his teeth, dancing with his own. his mind was completely gone now, his body reaction on his own whim, his arms wrapped around his neck, holding him there, keeping him close, not wanting the feeling, the warmth to end. His kiss was exactly what Samuel thought it would be, warm, soft, caring...he enjoyed this emotion coming from Red, still feelin secure. He broke away finally, looking up at him, his face reddening by the second.
Red opened his eyes to give a singular chuckle after they had parted before biting down on his lower lip realization coming into play. He new he was alone, he knew he didn't like that but he would never allow himself to be... that way. It wasn't that he had anything against the homosexuals, he just never thought of himself as one....no, he knew he wasn't one. Looking away his own face becoming a bright red. He pulled away, wanting to becoming invisible to avoid any possible questioning. Reclusive would be the stage he was entering, denial following. God please don't let him say anything to me. The Spaniard though to himself.
Red was in luck because Samuel was just as shocked as he was and said nothing. He slid over to him, and crawled around in front of him, placing himself in his lap and wrapping Red's arms around his waist, wanting to be hugged. He wasn't a pushy person but if he wanted something you'd know. He laid back, leaning into Red, holding his arms there, not wanting them to move. He said nothing, and closed his eyes, letting out a long held sigh.
The Spaniard let the Russian have his way, he also said nothing, his mind completely askew as he questioned himself from his thoughts, to his own sexualtity knowing very well that he loved the ladies, they were just as spicey and sassy as he wanted in many shapes and sizes at that, and knew that he never concidered men as an option for himself. God this was going to open up a whole new perspective for him. A wider range too at what he could have if he chose to go with both sexes. He didn't want to though, it was supposedly wrong? Wasn't it...? He didn't no, he had no real religion. Hell he didn't care. Nuzzling into Samuel's back he remain silent and bitting onto his lip.
Samuel just sat there, laying on his friend, sinking into the warmth and comfort of much needed sleep. Before too long, his breathing slowed to a steady pace and his eyes remained shut, never to open until the next morning. he was so exhausted and what happened that night didn't help him at all with his sleep factor, but for the time being, he was passed out and dreaming a variety of things, from Johnathan, to Red, to his childhood, past his life, things like that. Aside from his active imagination as a child, he was a rather simple dreamer.
Turrent's snores filled the house once more, their 'moment' having caused their ears to block out any other sounds, creating a small invisible haven around them. The house was still,...cold, every little creak in the apartment sounded as though it echoed louder than an explosion.
Red however didn't sleep, his mind was wondering far too much. He finally came to a decision that morning as the sun was just starting to peak over the horizon that he wanted just a....taste of what it was like....being with another man. He waited, and waited for what seemed like hours before he got up the nerve to get up, sliding from Samuel and going over to lock the door. No interruptions. That wasn't a possibility, not at all. The Spaniard then went back over to the smaller man and slipped back behind him. Taking in his scent..hearing every noise their small apartment made the moments of silence ringing in his ear drums. "Samuel...." He finally spoke, voice soft into the others ear, shaking him gently. Why did he want this so badly?
Samuel said nothing; He heard nothing, not a word that came from the spaniard, not the sound of his brother's best friend's snoring, and not the creaking of the apartment walls and floors. To him the world was silent, not full of life, but not lonely. The night went on, the silence finally engulfing the entire walls and every inch of the house. It slowly drifted through the cracks in the doors and walls, sneaking in and out of rooms, creeping up on you and raising every hair on your neck one by one until it went from your hairline to your wrists. The world stood still and Red was the only one to feel it stop.
Red shuddered often. Being unable to keep sane any longer he went for it. His hand snaked downward from Samuel's waist line, undoing the string of his friends sleeping pants and dipping it down finding his friends length that was tucked away. The Spanish male was ever so curious about this and he knew Samuel could show him things he didn't know. Common sense grasped hold of him, he could still play this off he hoped as he quickly withdrew that hand from Sammy's pants. Doing a damn good job of keeping his face from turning blood red. "Samuel." He said grunting roughly into his ear. He would try to claim it as a wake up call. Damn....the door. Maybe he wouldn't question if Red got to it first.
Samuel's eyes snapped awake and for a second he seemed alert, but only a moment passed and he dazed as though he were drunk. "wah?...Red are you still up?" He asked in a hushed whisper, seeming to forget their previous 'moment' and act as though all was well. He rubbed his eyes, as if it would wake him up more, and wrapped up in one of the covers. "What's wrong?"
"I......I don't know...." He admitted. "How long have we known each other?" Red asked looking away now, in shame. As far as he knew something was wrong with him. Turning away again he hid the bags under his eyes that said he hadn't slept that night. He wanted sleep but knew it wasn't going to be coming do him anytime soon.
Samuel thought about it for a moment, calculating years and what not, even though he'd end up saying it out loud eventually. "Well it's been a pretty damn long time Red, since elementary school, or middle school I think, either the fifth or sixth grade." He said, thinking out loud, his usual way. "Why do you ask?" He suddenly became concerned, hoping he hadn't made him feel uncomfortable.
Red shook his head. "I just wanted to know...." He was quiet for a while and then glanced at the other's lovely green eyes with sad concerned ones. "Am....is there......is there something wrong with me? Am I queer?" He asked all in one breath, he was bothered by this and didn't want to ask for anything.
Samuel shrugged and gave his honest depiction. "Actually Red, I don't know, you can be straight or queer or even,...half woman for all I care but there isn't anything wrong with you......" He voice was calm, and comforting, then it went to rather sarcastic and joking. "....except for your intense angerbursts and your addiction to cuban cigars...but yeah" He gave a hopeful smile, trying to cheer him up
He nodded, already knowing that part, it didn't help but he gave a half smile feeling that sick about having had too much time to think on this subject. "I just want to know. I want to know what I am, I thought I did but I don't... I don't think I feel too swift right now...." He sighed hanging his head in between his legs, that was also probably from a lack of sleep and the three sandwiches he had eaten the night before. Closing his sleepy eyes he just sat there on the edge of the bed.
Samuel rubbed his back affectionately, hoping he'd be some good help for his friend. "I'm...sorry if I made you uncomfortable with last night, I mean, I really don't know what happened or if, well I mean..." He stuttered struggling to find the right words
Red hid his face and just sort of fell over on the corner of the bed and groaned. "I'm gonna die, okay?" Of course he didn't mean it he was just out of it right then. "I don't know anything anymore, the world doesn't make since, nothing. I want things that I don't know of and I'm not hungry and I can't sleep." He rolled over onto his stomach hoping it would come through for him and make him feel less queasy like it had a tendency to do.
Samuel did all he could and stay up with him through the rest of the night, giving him a back beating massage, hoping he was helping instead of making it worse. He decided not to mention anything of that night to Red. Maybe he'd forget and get back to normal, without all the pain and confusion, maybe...hopefully. The sun was showing at the edge of the buildings, creeping through the glass window into the room.
Red was no longer a part of the living world, he had finally passed over into a world of chaotic dreams that made him break out into a hot sweat, writhe every now and again, twitch, grunt and flinch. He never felt so strange in his life, it was a big transition that he had never thought of making and now it was just sort of dumped on him. Damn he would be one hell of a grouchy person the next day.
Samuel too had fallen asleep, leaning against the wall. Turrent, who slept nonstop all night awoke and got up, walking over to Kevin's bed. "Hey........heeeeeeereeeeeyyyy!!!" He moaned, shaking the bed violently. "wake uuuup" He was never good at this waking up deal himself really.
Kevin groaned, a half empty bottle of vodka on his nightstand and a slight blood stain on his sheets and the side of his shirt. Nothing too bad just a promise of discomfort. "Nh...ngh...Turrent, what?" He asked sleepily his voice hazed in pain as he forced purple tented eyelids open to show the begging of bags under his eyes.
"I just wanted ta make sure you weren't dead." He sighed, his eyes closed now. He went around to the other side of Kevin's bed and crawled in as if they would only wake him in his own bed. "Night Kevin..." He yawned, snuggling down into the covers
Kevin groaned again, then whimpered. "Turr, I hurt man..." He said taking his hand blindly behind him and accidentally hitting that 'gross' bruise on Turrent's butt check. "I want a shower....Give me a shower.....And another bottle of booze. Different flavor though...Please and thankya." He managed to say in a straight voice.
Turrent had always claimed he didn't mind pain but damn did that make him jump out of the bed screaming a harsh word. He looked back down at Kevin and let out a sigh. "If I give you more booze, your little bro. is gonna get mad so lets just go with the shower, come on" he grunted, carefully picking the other up and taking him to the bathroom. "Do ya need help?"
He moaned and groaned as the went, every move hurt, his body was stiff and sore as hell. "Help would be nice....And a chair if we have any...." He felt so pathetic. Starting to remove his clothes you could see the dried blood from where his stitches were that had seeped out, the cauterizing had help up great other than that, there were many bruises on his back and arms but he'd live or so he deemed..
"kay lemme go get yur bro then" he said slipping away. He wasn't about to give his best friend a bath, that was just weird,and he didn't want to do anything stupid either, so getting Sammy was the best idea he had. Samuel came a moment later and helped his brother into the bath tub, turning on the water. "you okay man?"
He nodded. "Yea, I'm fine....Just sore is all, you know..." No, Samuel wouldn't know but that didn't matter, he was just talking off the after affects of drinking so much and still hurting. "You ain't gotta do this Samuel you really don't if you don't want to..." He was serious, there was no beg, or ask in that tone he had. Or the look he gave.
"No its fine, really I just don't want you to hurt." He rubbed his back, affectionately, giving him a reassuring smile. Turrent send Red in there with the chair as he looked for a certain little puppy to cheer Kevin up. Samuel let Red in with the chair, not sure why they needed it, he was fine on his knees but oh well. He looked back and Kevin, giving him another smile,...a similar smile, the same one Red had seen the night before. It only lasted a moment, but for sure it was the same one. Red didn't give Samuel the chair however, he sat it in the bathtub for Kevin as the shower was adjusted for him. Raising a brow to his Sammy's smile he frowned, nothing but an unsatisfied frown came from the Spaniard. Kevin sat, patiently not wanting to keep his wound submerged in water to try and prevent infection and this was the way to go about it. He thanked Red for his help and smiled awkwardly as he left with a sigh.
Samuel helped him clean the wound, being extra careful to not hurt him. It took a little while, but soon he was done and wrapped a towel around him. "There, lemme get you some clothes." He murmured to him, giving him a light kiss on the forehead. He walked into the bedroom, getting some loose pants and a loose collared shirt. "Hey Red..." he called, looking out the door. "Can you get me one of Kevin's shirts out of the dryer, the big one with the light pink stripes and stuff..."
Red growled but he went and got it anyway, not for Samuel though but for Kevin. He reported back with a smug frown and a glare as he held out the clothing article to Samuel. "Here." He snapped walking away afterwards. Kevin just sort of stood there, drying himself off, he was wincing but he would get over it. "Turr, where did you go?" He asked walking out still in his towel.
Samuel handed his brother the clothing just as Turrent walked in holding the fat puppy that was excited to see everyone now. "I found him under the couch" He admitted aa Samuel walked out of the room after Red. "Red...are you okay?" He asked, walking in the room and closing the door behind him.
Red scowled. "What was that?" He snapped at Samuel, eyebrows furrowed. "What was with that look you gave him?" He asked a sprig of hurt in his voice that he never let show. You couldn't hurt Red, that was just how life was, well physically hurt anyway. "Well? I saw that smile!" His expression went from angry to confused again.
Samuel was even more confused as he was. "He's my brother Red, of course I'd smile at him, I want him to feel better, why are you so pissed anyway!?" he demanded becoming angry. "Jeez, I'm sorry that I care about my brother, what's with you today?" He was frustrated, not knowing what to do.
Red shook his head "No, that wasn't the smile that said you care about your brother. It was the smile you gave me last night." He barked, bearing his teeth, leaning foward ready to defend himself if needed. "Why, why'd you give him that smile?" He questioned almost going right back to being hrt again. God he was bipolar.
"I don't even know what you're talking about, it was just a smile, I give you smiles and I give him smiles but they're not the same okay! Why are you getting so angry about it, he's my brother, it's different with him" He yelled right back. Maria stood there with Turrent, Kevin, and Louie, all silent as they listened in the other room.
Red stopped, silent on his own behalf. Several emotions all flishing behind his eyes at once then anger came back being the most easy emotion to understand. "Fuck you Samuel I don't give a damn anymore. I'm leaving." With that he was silent as he grabbed a coat and walked out to exchange a glare to everyone and walk out. He was so confused with how he felt and that didn't help at all.
Samuel gritted his teeth, feeling the angry tears swelling up in his eyes. He went to make a come back, but couldn't get anything past the lump in his throat. He knew very well much about what Red was trying to get at, he wasn't sure what smile he meant but he was well aware of the track he was on and that didn't help at all. He fell on to his bed, hugging the pillow, pushing his face into it, wishing for Johnathan more than ever.
"Samuel...." Red sighed tilting his head. He had a strange feeling in his chest and gut. The Spaniard didn't really understand it's meaning or being there for that matter. "Look....I know you miss him, I do. But you can't let that screw you over, he'll be back. It's not like he's gonna stay gone for eternity.....Okay? I promise...." His voice was low but soft and comforting. He was surprised by himself that he could sound such a way really. It wasn't so natural for him. Reaching down cautiously he drew back just a bit before placing the back of a few fingers on Samuel's cheek, rubbing at it, wiping away at the tears. "Shhh....it's gonna be okay..." The dark but soft look that was coming from his mahogany eyes was true and not a false look that he sometimes wore. Scooping his Russian friend up in his other free arm he withdrew his hand and began to stroke the back of the other's head.
Samuel wrapped his arms around Red's strong neck, hugging him tightly and clinging to him as though life itself depended on it. He held in the tears, not wanting to cry, but was glad that Red was there in case he did need a shoulder to cry on, or someone to cling onto in the night for comfort. "I know..."He murmured, attempting to swallow the lump in his throat. Despite his sadness, Red made him feel secure, and safer, as though he was a warm blanket to wrap up in and hide in a bed full of soft feather pillows on a cold winter day. He nuzzled into the nape of Red's neck, taking in his scent, feeling the warmth of his skin on his cold tear stained face, and biting his lip before placing his wet lips onto Red's soft skin. He still clung to him, hiding his face, calming himself down slowly.
Red just sat there holding onto his depressed little Russian friend. He didn't frown, he didn't smile well because there was nothing to smile about in the least bit. He knew how to comfort someone though, from his previous girl friend, she was a crying little thing which explained why she was a previous rather than now existing. He nuzzled back on the top of Samuel's head, trying to comfort and make him feel better. Noting that his face was cold and still a bit damp from his tears. Then something wet yet warm was on his skin and the Spaniard just knew what it was causing his cheeks to heat up, becoming hot and a slight shade of pinkish red. He bit his lip that feeling inside grew a bit but he pushed it back, fighting it, not knowing what it meant still other than he was probably wanting. "It's gonna be okay man......Shhhh...." He whispered several times into Samuel's ear in that low hushed tone. He liked this for some reason, the feeling that he was the more dominant to have someone weaker in his arms. Closing his eyes he began to lean his head down to plant a kiss on Samuel's cheek, then it hit him and his eyes shot open and heart rate quicked for a moment, pulling his head back and giving a small on onto the top of his head. 'What the hell is wrong with you?!' He asked himself with a mental snarl.
The Russian was reduced to merely sniffles now, his tears all gone, for no more to follow. He nuzzled more into his neck, feeling how warm and soft his skin was. He wasn't sure why but he knew what was going on. He felt so pathetic, so desperate, did he really need affection that badly. NO, he wouldn't drive Red into that, he wouldn't do it, he was with Johnathan, despite the fact that he was hundreds of miles away in another country and there was a vast ocean between them. None of those things matter, but why, why was he so drawn to Red now. He didn't want to do this, to feel desperate, and pathetic, but Red was so warm, and strong yet gentle, similar to his brother. He remembered when he was little, he would always go to his brother first if he was upset and he was just hold him and let him cry. His father always said crying was for woman, but Kevin never reminded him of that and just comforted him. That's what is was, it was like brother love, not him and Johnathan love. Even as he told himself, he felt his arms, pushing away from Red, just enough to look up at him, the thoughts rushing in his head as he scanned him over, catching every detail in his handsome face.
And an accidental seductive grin blossomed onto Red's face as he looked down at Samuel a sparkle behind his dark eyes. He was hoping this was a comforting look but he was to no avail of being right. "You're gonna be okay...." Came another promise from those full kissable lips of his. "Alright, Samuel. Johnathan will be back for you and you'll be there waiting that day that he does return in the airport." Goddamn he should write a novel or soap opera sitcom show story line. His grin turned into a softened mile followed by the softening of all his facial features. Another stroke of the hair with his growing hand that was already a bit larger than Samuel's then again Red was bigger than him by now no doubt, though he wasn't completely done growing. He gave a slight chuckle. "Sounded a bit sappy, huh?" He asked everyone knowing that he had never been a man for that kind of thing. He hated drama and meaningless stories that went along with it.
Samuel nodded silently, turning away from him before he became completely hypnotized by his dark eyes, strong handsome face, and beautiful soft lips. The thoughts forced him to look again, which was a mistake, fore he became instantly entranced by his facial features once more, finding it more impossible to turn away than before. He stared up at him, not really hearing his words, his curiosity taking over, controlling him to act differently, merely reacting to his smile more than his words. He hesitated but it was too late, he leaned up, meeting his soft lips with the warmth of his own, that feeling of affection twinged through his body all at once, causing the hairs on his arm to raise and embrace the chill of the night air that seeped in through the window. He kissed him fully, being cautious about anything more than just a kiss, wondering, hoping...wishing he would kiss back all the same.
He was curious at first as to what Samuel was doing, why he was looking around like that, cocking his own head to the side and then back only to be kissed. The Spaniard drank in the warmth of those soft Russian lips but was stunned and shocked all at once by his closest friends action. He wanted to ask why, he wanted to pull back which he gave a very small attempt to failing epically doing so. He found himself desiring more than just a kiss, he had been single for about two months now and was feeling rather lonely. Red didn't think as he leaned into the kiss, opening up, taking Samuel's tongue captive, dominating it, teasing with no questions asked by his own mind. Allowing it in, caressing, tempting, and recapturing his friend's warm tongue, eyes being fully closed now, one peeking half-lidded every so often.
Samuel felt almost as though he would just die until Red finally kissed back giving him the reassurance that he didn't just make an awkward feeling for them both. He kissed back fully, feeling his tongue come past his teeth, dancing with his own. his mind was completely gone now, his body reaction on his own whim, his arms wrapped around his neck, holding him there, keeping him close, not wanting the feeling, the warmth to end. His kiss was exactly what Samuel thought it would be, warm, soft, caring...he enjoyed this emotion coming from Red, still feelin secure. He broke away finally, looking up at him, his face reddening by the second.
Red opened his eyes to give a singular chuckle after they had parted before biting down on his lower lip realization coming into play. He new he was alone, he knew he didn't like that but he would never allow himself to be... that way. It wasn't that he had anything against the homosexuals, he just never thought of himself as one....no, he knew he wasn't one. Looking away his own face becoming a bright red. He pulled away, wanting to becoming invisible to avoid any possible questioning. Reclusive would be the stage he was entering, denial following. God please don't let him say anything to me. The Spaniard though to himself.
Red was in luck because Samuel was just as shocked as he was and said nothing. He slid over to him, and crawled around in front of him, placing himself in his lap and wrapping Red's arms around his waist, wanting to be hugged. He wasn't a pushy person but if he wanted something you'd know. He laid back, leaning into Red, holding his arms there, not wanting them to move. He said nothing, and closed his eyes, letting out a long held sigh.
The Spaniard let the Russian have his way, he also said nothing, his mind completely askew as he questioned himself from his thoughts, to his own sexualtity knowing very well that he loved the ladies, they were just as spicey and sassy as he wanted in many shapes and sizes at that, and knew that he never concidered men as an option for himself. God this was going to open up a whole new perspective for him. A wider range too at what he could have if he chose to go with both sexes. He didn't want to though, it was supposedly wrong? Wasn't it...? He didn't no, he had no real religion. Hell he didn't care. Nuzzling into Samuel's back he remain silent and bitting onto his lip.
Samuel just sat there, laying on his friend, sinking into the warmth and comfort of much needed sleep. Before too long, his breathing slowed to a steady pace and his eyes remained shut, never to open until the next morning. he was so exhausted and what happened that night didn't help him at all with his sleep factor, but for the time being, he was passed out and dreaming a variety of things, from Johnathan, to Red, to his childhood, past his life, things like that. Aside from his active imagination as a child, he was a rather simple dreamer.
Turrent's snores filled the house once more, their 'moment' having caused their ears to block out any other sounds, creating a small invisible haven around them. The house was still,...cold, every little creak in the apartment sounded as though it echoed louder than an explosion.
Red however didn't sleep, his mind was wondering far too much. He finally came to a decision that morning as the sun was just starting to peak over the horizon that he wanted just a....taste of what it was like....being with another man. He waited, and waited for what seemed like hours before he got up the nerve to get up, sliding from Samuel and going over to lock the door. No interruptions. That wasn't a possibility, not at all. The Spaniard then went back over to the smaller man and slipped back behind him. Taking in his scent..hearing every noise their small apartment made the moments of silence ringing in his ear drums. "Samuel...." He finally spoke, voice soft into the others ear, shaking him gently. Why did he want this so badly?
Samuel said nothing; He heard nothing, not a word that came from the spaniard, not the sound of his brother's best friend's snoring, and not the creaking of the apartment walls and floors. To him the world was silent, not full of life, but not lonely. The night went on, the silence finally engulfing the entire walls and every inch of the house. It slowly drifted through the cracks in the doors and walls, sneaking in and out of rooms, creeping up on you and raising every hair on your neck one by one until it went from your hairline to your wrists. The world stood still and Red was the only one to feel it stop.
Red shuddered often. Being unable to keep sane any longer he went for it. His hand snaked downward from Samuel's waist line, undoing the string of his friends sleeping pants and dipping it down finding his friends length that was tucked away. The Spanish male was ever so curious about this and he knew Samuel could show him things he didn't know. Common sense grasped hold of him, he could still play this off he hoped as he quickly withdrew that hand from Sammy's pants. Doing a damn good job of keeping his face from turning blood red. "Samuel." He said grunting roughly into his ear. He would try to claim it as a wake up call. Damn....the door. Maybe he wouldn't question if Red got to it first.
Samuel's eyes snapped awake and for a second he seemed alert, but only a moment passed and he dazed as though he were drunk. "wah?...Red are you still up?" He asked in a hushed whisper, seeming to forget their previous 'moment' and act as though all was well. He rubbed his eyes, as if it would wake him up more, and wrapped up in one of the covers. "What's wrong?"
"I......I don't know...." He admitted. "How long have we known each other?" Red asked looking away now, in shame. As far as he knew something was wrong with him. Turning away again he hid the bags under his eyes that said he hadn't slept that night. He wanted sleep but knew it wasn't going to be coming do him anytime soon.
Samuel thought about it for a moment, calculating years and what not, even though he'd end up saying it out loud eventually. "Well it's been a pretty damn long time Red, since elementary school, or middle school I think, either the fifth or sixth grade." He said, thinking out loud, his usual way. "Why do you ask?" He suddenly became concerned, hoping he hadn't made him feel uncomfortable.
Red shook his head. "I just wanted to know...." He was quiet for a while and then glanced at the other's lovely green eyes with sad concerned ones. "Am....is there......is there something wrong with me? Am I queer?" He asked all in one breath, he was bothered by this and didn't want to ask for anything.
Samuel shrugged and gave his honest depiction. "Actually Red, I don't know, you can be straight or queer or even,...half woman for all I care but there isn't anything wrong with you......" He voice was calm, and comforting, then it went to rather sarcastic and joking. "....except for your intense angerbursts and your addiction to cuban cigars...but yeah" He gave a hopeful smile, trying to cheer him up
He nodded, already knowing that part, it didn't help but he gave a half smile feeling that sick about having had too much time to think on this subject. "I just want to know. I want to know what I am, I thought I did but I don't... I don't think I feel too swift right now...." He sighed hanging his head in between his legs, that was also probably from a lack of sleep and the three sandwiches he had eaten the night before. Closing his sleepy eyes he just sat there on the edge of the bed.
Samuel rubbed his back affectionately, hoping he'd be some good help for his friend. "I'm...sorry if I made you uncomfortable with last night, I mean, I really don't know what happened or if, well I mean..." He stuttered struggling to find the right words
Red hid his face and just sort of fell over on the corner of the bed and groaned. "I'm gonna die, okay?" Of course he didn't mean it he was just out of it right then. "I don't know anything anymore, the world doesn't make since, nothing. I want things that I don't know of and I'm not hungry and I can't sleep." He rolled over onto his stomach hoping it would come through for him and make him feel less queasy like it had a tendency to do.
Samuel did all he could and stay up with him through the rest of the night, giving him a back beating massage, hoping he was helping instead of making it worse. He decided not to mention anything of that night to Red. Maybe he'd forget and get back to normal, without all the pain and confusion, maybe...hopefully. The sun was showing at the edge of the buildings, creeping through the glass window into the room.
Red was no longer a part of the living world, he had finally passed over into a world of chaotic dreams that made him break out into a hot sweat, writhe every now and again, twitch, grunt and flinch. He never felt so strange in his life, it was a big transition that he had never thought of making and now it was just sort of dumped on him. Damn he would be one hell of a grouchy person the next day.
Samuel too had fallen asleep, leaning against the wall. Turrent, who slept nonstop all night awoke and got up, walking over to Kevin's bed. "Hey........heeeeeeereeeeeyyyy!!!" He moaned, shaking the bed violently. "wake uuuup" He was never good at this waking up deal himself really.
Kevin groaned, a half empty bottle of vodka on his nightstand and a slight blood stain on his sheets and the side of his shirt. Nothing too bad just a promise of discomfort. "Nh...ngh...Turrent, what?" He asked sleepily his voice hazed in pain as he forced purple tented eyelids open to show the begging of bags under his eyes.
"I just wanted ta make sure you weren't dead." He sighed, his eyes closed now. He went around to the other side of Kevin's bed and crawled in as if they would only wake him in his own bed. "Night Kevin..." He yawned, snuggling down into the covers
Kevin groaned again, then whimpered. "Turr, I hurt man..." He said taking his hand blindly behind him and accidentally hitting that 'gross' bruise on Turrent's butt check. "I want a shower....Give me a shower.....And another bottle of booze. Different flavor though...Please and thankya." He managed to say in a straight voice.
Turrent had always claimed he didn't mind pain but damn did that make him jump out of the bed screaming a harsh word. He looked back down at Kevin and let out a sigh. "If I give you more booze, your little bro. is gonna get mad so lets just go with the shower, come on" he grunted, carefully picking the other up and taking him to the bathroom. "Do ya need help?"
He moaned and groaned as the went, every move hurt, his body was stiff and sore as hell. "Help would be nice....And a chair if we have any...." He felt so pathetic. Starting to remove his clothes you could see the dried blood from where his stitches were that had seeped out, the cauterizing had help up great other than that, there were many bruises on his back and arms but he'd live or so he deemed..
"kay lemme go get yur bro then" he said slipping away. He wasn't about to give his best friend a bath, that was just weird,and he didn't want to do anything stupid either, so getting Sammy was the best idea he had. Samuel came a moment later and helped his brother into the bath tub, turning on the water. "you okay man?"
He nodded. "Yea, I'm fine....Just sore is all, you know..." No, Samuel wouldn't know but that didn't matter, he was just talking off the after affects of drinking so much and still hurting. "You ain't gotta do this Samuel you really don't if you don't want to..." He was serious, there was no beg, or ask in that tone he had. Or the look he gave.
"No its fine, really I just don't want you to hurt." He rubbed his back, affectionately, giving him a reassuring smile. Turrent send Red in there with the chair as he looked for a certain little puppy to cheer Kevin up. Samuel let Red in with the chair, not sure why they needed it, he was fine on his knees but oh well. He looked back and Kevin, giving him another smile,...a similar smile, the same one Red had seen the night before. It only lasted a moment, but for sure it was the same one. Red didn't give Samuel the chair however, he sat it in the bathtub for Kevin as the shower was adjusted for him. Raising a brow to his Sammy's smile he frowned, nothing but an unsatisfied frown came from the Spaniard. Kevin sat, patiently not wanting to keep his wound submerged in water to try and prevent infection and this was the way to go about it. He thanked Red for his help and smiled awkwardly as he left with a sigh.
Samuel helped him clean the wound, being extra careful to not hurt him. It took a little while, but soon he was done and wrapped a towel around him. "There, lemme get you some clothes." He murmured to him, giving him a light kiss on the forehead. He walked into the bedroom, getting some loose pants and a loose collared shirt. "Hey Red..." he called, looking out the door. "Can you get me one of Kevin's shirts out of the dryer, the big one with the light pink stripes and stuff..."
Red growled but he went and got it anyway, not for Samuel though but for Kevin. He reported back with a smug frown and a glare as he held out the clothing article to Samuel. "Here." He snapped walking away afterwards. Kevin just sort of stood there, drying himself off, he was wincing but he would get over it. "Turr, where did you go?" He asked walking out still in his towel.
Samuel handed his brother the clothing just as Turrent walked in holding the fat puppy that was excited to see everyone now. "I found him under the couch" He admitted aa Samuel walked out of the room after Red. "Red...are you okay?" He asked, walking in the room and closing the door behind him.
Red scowled. "What was that?" He snapped at Samuel, eyebrows furrowed. "What was with that look you gave him?" He asked a sprig of hurt in his voice that he never let show. You couldn't hurt Red, that was just how life was, well physically hurt anyway. "Well? I saw that smile!" His expression went from angry to confused again.
Samuel was even more confused as he was. "He's my brother Red, of course I'd smile at him, I want him to feel better, why are you so pissed anyway!?" he demanded becoming angry. "Jeez, I'm sorry that I care about my brother, what's with you today?" He was frustrated, not knowing what to do.
Red shook his head "No, that wasn't the smile that said you care about your brother. It was the smile you gave me last night." He barked, bearing his teeth, leaning foward ready to defend himself if needed. "Why, why'd you give him that smile?" He questioned almost going right back to being hrt again. God he was bipolar.
"I don't even know what you're talking about, it was just a smile, I give you smiles and I give him smiles but they're not the same okay! Why are you getting so angry about it, he's my brother, it's different with him" He yelled right back. Maria stood there with Turrent, Kevin, and Louie, all silent as they listened in the other room.
Red stopped, silent on his own behalf. Several emotions all flishing behind his eyes at once then anger came back being the most easy emotion to understand. "Fuck you Samuel I don't give a damn anymore. I'm leaving." With that he was silent as he grabbed a coat and walked out to exchange a glare to everyone and walk out. He was so confused with how he felt and that didn't help at all.
Samuel gritted his teeth, feeling the angry tears swelling up in his eyes. He went to make a come back, but couldn't get anything past the lump in his throat. He knew very well much about what Red was trying to get at, he wasn't sure what smile he meant but he was well aware of the track he was on and that didn't help at all. He fell on to his bed, hugging the pillow, pushing his face into it, wishing for Johnathan more than ever.